The Black Diary

(With the first ray of the Sun, Priya woke up to a new and fresh day. People say,” Every day is a new beginning”, but for Priya this day was indeed a new beginning. Her relationship that lasted for four rough months was about to end and then her life will never be the same. This is a story of how a girl who dreams about her life to become a princess ends up in the hands of someone who destroys her identity knowingly or unknowingly and how she reassembles herself to stand and fight back to build her strong personality once again and face the world to fulfill her dreams. After four months of tolerance, finally Priya decided to put an end to the relationship on the ground basis of Change. Apart from her hope, belief and Patience in struggling all this time, her true support was a diary. The Black Diary, which she always kept with her to note every major setback, failure, sorrow from her life. With the first ray of hope this morning, she takes out her diary, and writes,”My First Love who destroyed me…”. She marked the date, closed the diary, picked up the cell phone, and dialed a number.) 

“HELLO! THIS IS ME, PRIYA. I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. LET’S MEET AROUND 10 IN THE MORNING NEAR THE MODERN SHOPPING CENTER”, SAID I. 

“I DON’T WANT TO MEET YOU. HOW MANY TIMES DO I REPEAT MYSELF? JUST GET LOST.” SHOUTED MY NOW EX-BOYFRIEND AS HE PICKED UP THE CALL. 

“JUST ONE LAST TIME, YOU ARE FREE TO GO THEN”

“OK. The Last Time.”. HE AGREED. 

This conversation that you just read was the mirror that reflects those four months of my so called relationship. Today it has come to its pinnacle, and now as you might have guessed, the situation has turned the other way around. The person whom I once adored more than anything is perishing from my life. Every single tick of the clock is making me aware of the change in times that I have experienced so far in my life. I never thought that such a scenario would take place in my life, never was I prepared to face such a thing. My dreams and my goals reflected a life of a princess, where I was the one who choose to shape my life. I always wanted my dreams to blossom and in the search of my dream life, I tried every single thing that I could get my hands to. But today as I face this man here, I am taken aback by the kind of twists that life has brought into my life. The story of my life is not a unique one, but is filled with all sorts of possibilities one can possibly imagine in his or her life. To make you aware of what all happened with me and how the Love turned to Ignorance, join me in my realm of love and mystery.

It was the summer of 2014, I was about to go to college for the very last time. “One more day, and it’s all over”, I said joyfully. Summer holidays are loved by all, and I have got plans to visit my uncle’s place after nearly two years so I was pretty happy. All my friends, best friends and other mates arranged a small party after the college to celebrate the time together. Everyone was very happy; this was our last meet so everybody wished great life for every other person. But there was one friend of mine, Rahul, who remained hidden all time. He was one of my best friends or so I thought. We shared a great bond in college and during lectures. I searched for him but he was nowhere to be seen. We all enjoyed great food, music and lots of chatter together. The party was a success, and at the end of it, everyone got to say few words for the rest of the group. It was one of the most memorable moments in my life. As the party got over, I went home with one of my friend. It was almost 11’o clock and I was in my bedroom, reading a novel. I love reading books and novels were my favorite. Just so as I was about to turn the page over, I heard something move near my window, I thought it to be the wind and so ignored it. I was so much involved in the novel that I completely ignored the further series of noises around me. A moment later as I stared back at the window, he was standing right there in front of me with a bouquet in his hands. It was startling to see him. He stood there motionless and the only first words he said were…” I love you!!!”

Surprises are good when the consequences are fruitful, but they turn ugly and strange when the consequences misbehave. 

Observing, provides more answers than arguing ever does. For almost a minute, I sat there staring at him as if I was dreaming, as if I strangely saw a rabbit with horns. But a moment later I made myself aware of the situation and was stunned by the sight. I had no words to say, I even forgot that I was reading a novel for a second. What seemed like an echo, he repeated the words again,” I love you Priya!!!”

People take advantage at the best possible moment of the event. The best time is when one is clueless about what is happening all around him, so they throw a stone at you and you can’t do anything. Either catch it with both hands or get hurt yourself. You do the smart thing and get trapped.

After a long pause, I said,”What?” He was about to say those words again, when I interrupted him and shouted back,”What are you doing here? Is this a way to enter somebody’s house? Why are you here? And where were you all this evening?” I kept on saying and throwing questions at him, in response he just laughed back and said,” I thought proposing you this way will be more romantic!!!” 

When a person turns cunning, there are two things that might interest him. Either you have something that he doesn’t have, so he tries to get that from you or he has something that you don’t, so he plays with you and once done, throws you away.

On one hand, I was trying to switch the topic but on the other hand he was stuck for my answer. He gave me the flowers, and stood there silently for me to answer. I couldn’t think of any plausible answer so I delayed that till tomorrow and asked him to leave. He resisted but after I agreed to meet him for sure, he was on his way back the same way as he came. 

People, who want, will never settle for nothing. Either they will settle for something or everything.

Once he was gone, I sat on my bed wondering if this really happened. That a boy broke into my room through a window to propose me was the most romantic thing I ever imagined in my life. Whenever I use to watch romantic movies where the girl is treated as princess, I always dreamed if someone will climb a drain pipe up to my window or someone will surprise me with gifts and propose me in the most unique way ever. This was just the kind of thing I wanted to happen and then my happiness knew no bounds. 

Science fiction is loved by all, not the real Science. A touch of fantasy is enough for one to illusionize somebody.

Next day we met, I put up my favorite dress. We had a great time and it was clear by then that we were made for each other. 

Commitments and bonds hurt more when we label the relationship with terms of self-interest. Every successful relationship is ‘Made for each other’ but make sure it is a successful one at first place.

He fulfilled all my wishes, cared for me more than I ever wished for, never shouted at me, and never ever failed my trust. I was living the life of a princess indeed and my dreams seemed possible. But just when I surrendered my life to him, something strange happened. Love is not a contract or a deal. So stop making it into one!!! Four months have passed since we are together, not enough time to know everything about one person. As days passed by one by one I got to know about his many different habits and himself. [Relationships need a firm foundation to stand long. Relations based on poor foundations fall soon, when they do so, it’s too late to reconstruct the same]

One thing that was unique in me from other people of my age was that I loved to read books. Inspirational, Fiction and Novels were my favorites. In those books, I learned many different principles of life. How our life is shaped and on what our life is supported. Every single book had something new for me to learn, and this was the reason I kept on reading new books. 

That is the reason they say,” Books are our true friends. They never betray, nor do they think the way humans do.

My boyfriend was the exact opposite; he rarely read anything, disliked being commanded by others and always liked to lead his life by his own rules no matter what the rule does to him or people around him. This was the first time, we had a cross conversation and on one hand where I was about to make his life better, from the other side I was seeing a new and self-centered person. The many different hidden qualities of him were now open to me, and no more was he a mystery as his true colors were slowly but effectively changing the way we talked, cared and loved each other. Frequent clashes between me and him began; I sensed this relationship isn’t going to last much. But whenever situation turned worst, I stopped myself from making the first step in the fear that if he rejects who will accept me? I was lost, so much lost that I forgot to live my own life at a moment. 

When people say that they are committed to someone, I ask them to verify if they share a love bond or a contract. No love defines commitments, because a commitment exists in contracts and agreements, not in Love.

I cared for him more than I did for myself, I started to think more about him and his life, I started to change myself to fit in his lifestyle, I was losing my self being. This was not the kind of life I dreamed for, though the beginning of this relationship seemed to match the one with the epic love story, the end is always different. 

If the relationship changes you as a person, break free immediately. If it enhances your personality, then it is worth it.

Day after day our mutual fights grew both in number and intensity, and today it feels strange when I look back at myself. I am changed. One who was once a flower has now become a stone. My life was never the same, the day I was involved in this relation, what I once thought to be an epic love story now turned out to be a blind date for me, where you chose someone to walk beside all your life without knowing the true person behind the blindfold. And then was the time, I chose to text him for the final time, to meet him for the final time and to see him for the last time.

At around 10 in the morning we met near the modern shopping complex. His body language reflected ignorance, as if this was the worst task for him. I stood there for few moments in front of him, just to observe his reaction and see if he is still the same person I met. Everyone says that Love changes people, I chose to disagree on my part. Both do not change, one person changes being affected by the other one and the other merely shows his or her true face. People never change they become more of what they are or they show more of what they have. I handed to him a piece of paper and silently walked away. In it I wrote,”Thank You”, for all that he did to me was a planned effort by someone who controlled our lives or so I chose to believe which changed me for the better and made me strong enough to face the life ahead. After all this, I went home, opened up my cupboard and took out the black diary. In the list of experiences that I had so far in my life, I added this experience in the book and wondered what next is about to come. 

That which deserves need not fight, it only destroys the beauty and this is unfortunate.

The story above was mere a plot, which was necessary for the words I am about to place in front of you. Consider this story, not as an example but as one of those real stories that you hear or witness in daily life. In fact this story has all in it which can make it a real one. The numbers speak truth. Today, the statistics show that almost more than 60% of the girls in India face relationship problems, emotional problems, and premarital problems relating to their family or their boyfriend or other relatives. This figure is a warning to our society where already the girls are so underestimated in every field that there is close to no support whatsoever to them. Be it in schools, colleges, universities or from distant villages girls are making their mark equally with the boys in academics. In fact the numbers say that Girls do better when it comes to academic success in schools and colleges. Be it the role of a mother, or a sister, or a friend, or a guide they lead in every possible scenario. We label the creator of our Universe and the Cosmos as God, but we rarely talk about the significance of our own creator on this planet. This is because it is easy to worship someone, who isn’t present physically but it takes a real human being to see and praise the beauty of the one who is the ultimate creator and physically present on the planet. What the society needs is a changed perspective.

Over these many years, many horrifying events have been occurred including the rapes of women all over the country. Many people, institutions, government placed different views over the possible reasons behind such acts, but hardly anyone mentioned about the true power that resides in a Woman. A Woman is the reason the humans are alive today, a Woman is the reason we still bow down in respect, a Woman is the reason our lives have humble and sweetness. These and many more are the qualities exclusively taken from the mother, when you ever feel a soft but powerful energy in yourself; know that it is your mother who is responsible for it. Can you imagine this world without girls or women? It will be a horrifying state, and then will be the moment when you will realize that those are the ones responsible for stability in your life, our lives.

A few hundred years before, women were recognized in India majorly as soft and light hearted, which was essential for the balance to be maintained. But today, given the increasing number of violence, crimes, betrays, etc. unfortunately the women in India have raised their voice. It is important that they get what they deserve, but it is unfortunate that women had to fight to get that, it is unfortunate that women need to get out on streets to prove their power, it is unfortunate to see them changing. This is unfortunate because these things deserve to be rewarded and do not need to fight to be awarded. I appeal to all men here, please stop this constant discrimination and violence both verbal and physical and understand the true meaning of a woman or else it won’t be far when the girls in the run to prove themselves in the society turn to become similar to boys. Then there will be no more soft, delicate and humble nature, no flowers in the society, no fragrance in the cosmos. Do not let that happen, unless you wish to see hell before death.

Similarly, to all the girls out there, people who support you understand your agony and will stand with you at any platform to prove your worth to the ignorant society but though you fight for your rights, do not let the wave of ignorance around change the very basis of your life and indirectly ours as well. You shape the world, you shape the generations, and you are the creator, for you hold the dignity and power within you. You are beautiful the way you are, you are deserving and dignified the way you are, you do not need to please somebody to prove your worth nor do you need to change yourself for anybody. Once and for all, every person is blessed with all the necessary tools to shape his and others lives to the best of possibilities and any change that hinders your growth is not worth your attention. 

This article was specially written to raise a hope and a supportive hand for all those who are lost in thoughts about love, life and sacrifice. “The Black Diary”, though presents a small section in our article, influences big change in the society. Every girl on this planet has a Black Diary of hers. She doesn’t maintain a diary as such, but as and when injustice happens to her, a record has been made in the diary. Today, one after the other, the black diary of a girl is being filled with tons and tons of experiences, her life has gone through a tough phase and it’s high time that something has to be done. If this were a virtual life, we would happily have deleted it in one Go, but guess what, it took hundreds of dreadful years for the black diary to be filled with so much tortures stuff that now it seems practically impossible to erase every single stuff, every single memory from the life of a suffering girl. What practically seems impossible is only possible when we go beyond the limits of human practicality, which takes us back to our basics of life. United as we stand to protect and preserve the most abundant energy source on our planet, sooner will be the outcome and powerful will be the future. With this strong message to make one realize the true potential of a girl, we kick start our journey, hoping to build new and better ideas for the future awaits our leadership and if you think you can truly lead this world to glory, let’s change the world together!!! 

When things change, people change with them. Do something so powerful that when you change, the world changes!!!

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